In October of 2012, The Huffington Post shared six signs that your marriage is headed for divorce thanks to Leslie Petruk of YourTango.com. So how do you know if your marriage is headed for Splitsville?
- If conversations between you and your spouse start out bad, it’s never a good sign. Using criticism, sarcasm, or insults in the beginning will almost guarantee an ugly end to the exchange.
- Four particular behaviors – contempt, criticism, stonewalling, and defensiveness – are significant identifiers for potential divorce. When you deliberately try to hurt your spouse’s feelings or criticize them, chances are that your spouse will response by becoming defensive or even shutting you out completely. None of these behavior are constructive communication strategies.
- An overwhelming amount of negativity in any relationship is bad. Constantly putting your partner down, judging their actions, badgering them, etc. may cause your spouse to resent you.
- The effects that these types of behaviors have on individuals bring about changes in the human body, referred to as the ‘fight or flight response.’ As a result, it becomes increasingly difficult to resolve the situation amicably.
- The ability to resolve your conflicts is important to you and your spouse’s relationship. Couples need to be able to disagree or fight, talk about the problem, and move past it. Without resolution, spouses may hold grudges and/or internalize feelings that surface later.
- Viewing your marriage in a negative light will only increase the likelihood that the disappointment will come to fruition. A marriage should be a healthy, positive, and stable bond between two people. So you should think of yours that way.
Do you and your spouse fall into this pattern of emotional abuse? Does your relationship suffer from destructive interactions? If so, you may be headed for a divorce.